In the wake of tragedy at Windermere High: How to help your teen grieve

Following the death of Windermere High School student Zachariah Michael Wade, 17, parents still should be on the lookout for signs of grieving.

Many Windermere High students still may be dwelling on the recent tragedy, but it’s important to understand everyone has their own timeline for grief, said Jesse Radloff, a licensed mental health counselor and care coordinator at Orlando Health South Seminole Hospital.

“It’s important to remember that it’s OK to grieve in the student’s own way and their own time,” Radloff said. “It’s important to not hide from it. Acknowledge that it happened. Everyone grieves a little differently and on a little bit of a different time scale from person to person. Where someone it might immediately hit them, for others it could take several days, a couple weeks before it really kind of bubbles up to the surface. Keep an eye out — be aware, be available and be open.”

Even if a student wasn’t friends with whoever lost their life, the ordeal can still impact them, Radloff said.

“They could have other friends (who) knew them or just something about whatever the circumstances that happened could strike a chord and then that reminds (them) of something in their own past that they haven’t necessarily completely reconciled with,” he said. “One of the worst things you could do is tell a child, ‘No, you didn’t know this person. You weren’t friends, so what are you talking about?’ … That’s the absolute wrong thing to do.”

Radloff also noted the brains of teenagers and young adults aren’t as developed in terms of processing future consequences and possible outcomes.

“It can be a big shock having such a graphic illustration of, ‘We’re all going to die,’” he said. “It’s something adults are uncomfortable with — most everyone has, on some level, some discomfort around the subject of death and to have that come up in your peer group can definitely be a bit of a shock.”

Some students also may go into denial, Radloff said, where they know in their head that the death took place but they just won’t think about it.

Parents and teachers should remind students that they are always available to talk — and students should look out for one another, Radloff said.