British war brides maintain traditions, friendship

When the S.S. Maasdam docked in Hoboken, New Jersey, in 1953 after nine or 10 days at sea, Sally Armbruster began to wonder if her decision to leave Europe — and her family and friends — had been a good idea.

“I looked around, and I thought, 'What in the world have I done?'” Sally said.

Jean Seeley agreed that her initial opinion of America wasn't a positive one when she arrived in New Jersey four years later.

Sally, a Winter Garden resident, and Jean, who lives in Montverde, are members of the Transatlantic Brides and Parents Association, a group that was organized in England in 1947 by the parents of a young woman who fell in love with an American soldier and followed him back to his home in the United States.

They are also close friends with several other British women who have participated in the local TBPA chapter: Ocoee residents Pat Gleason and Norma Graham and Winter Garden residents Peggy Lombardo and Margaret Reper. The six women get together monthly for lunch and conversation.

“I enjoy meeting with the girls because you hear words you haven't heard in a very long time,” Jean said. “It's like being at home. It's very heartwarming.”

At its peak, TBPA had 50 branches and roughly 25,000 members. It's been estimated that 72,000 British women came to America after falling in love with American GIs.

It was a sisterhood, a chance to bond over their similarities in a foreign country.

“We took care of everyone's needs,” Pat said. “We all shared a lot. We brought British food and made our pots of tea. It's good for just maintaining our connection with our heritage.”

The food from their childhoods is still important to these women, and though Thanksgiving is a North American holiday, they will incorporate a little British heritage into their family meals.

Pat would be remiss if she didn't make her puff pastry sausage rolls, and Margaret’s holiday spread will certainly include her traditional mince pies.

Pat and Margaret, both of whom were born in England, have lived in the United States since the 1960s after falling in love with an American military man.

A CHANCE MEETING

Sometimes the best love stories have complicated beginnings. Jean was at a dance — on a blind date — when she locked eyes with another man, her future husband, across the room. Jack proposed six months later.

Margaret was 17 and using a fake ID to get into the Airman's Club at Upper Hayford Air Force Base just outside of Oxford when she met Frank, the man she would marry a year later. By the time she was 20, she had two children, as well.

Sally and a female friend from the village joined a group going into town, and the two women set up a double date with the bartender and another gentleman. James, the bartender, didn’t show up, and another man went in his place; he didn’t like that and called her the next day for a date.

“He gave me nylon hose, and my mother made me take them back,” she said. “She didn’t allow us to accept gifts.”

After two years of dating, he proposed.

Peggy and her sister were walking to the library one day when two soldiers asked for directions into town. They all walked together since they were going in the same direction. One asked if they could see the young women the next day, and when the sister said they would have to meet their parents first, he changed his mind. However, the next day, the second soldier, Joe, who would eventually be Peggy’s husband, showed up with another man.

“That was the beginning of our romance,” Peggy said. “Sometimes, he’d knock on the door and I’d be working, and Mother would invite him in for tea.”

Norma was home for Christmas and went to a bar to celebrate a friend’s birthday. Francis, an American soldier, asked her to dance.

“I didn’t want anything to do with those GIs,” she said.

But he walked her home and returned the next day, eager to get to know her. When she returned to her job on the other side of the country, he showed up there too. He was married but did get a divorce when he returned to the States. A year later, she met him in America.

Pat had broken up with her boyfriend, Robby, before she joined the military at age 18 to become a nurse, but Robby’s family still kept a photo of her in a nurse’s uniform on their mantel. Robby’s brother bred Labradors; Bill, a hunter, saw a newspaper advertisement for the dogs and went to Robby’s house to look at them. He also happened to see Pat’s photo and told the breeder he’d like to meet her.

They met on a blind date; she was smitten by this curly-headed man in a red-lined black suit and a thin western tie. When they arrived at the club, he handed her a roll of nickels for the slot machines and she said she felt like a millionaire. Eighteen months later, they were engaged, but she had to complete her military obligations in Europe and he had to return to America.

ADJUSTING TO A NEW LIFE

It wasn’t always easy for the British women to come to the U.S. to be reunited with their loved one.

Pat, who was not yet married to Bill, was able to obtain her Visa in two weeks because America needed nurses. It was more difficult for Margaret, who had to make three visits to the American Embassy.

“You are questioned and fingerprinted, have to make sure you have all your shots,” Margaret said. “Do you belong to the Communist Party? Have you ever been a prostitute? Your health had to be good.”

Norma called Francis, who was stationed in Omaha, Nebraska, to see if she could secure a job there. At that time, a person coming alone to the U.S. had to have a sponsor.

“It was terrible trying to get over here on visas,” Sally said.

It took her three months to get a visitor’s visa from the embassy.

Peggy said Joe had to have sufficient money in the bank for her return fare.

Once the women arrived, they got married and learned how to adapt to the American way of life. Margaret and Frank married in a registrar’s office, and then they went to an old pub for dinner and drinks. Sally and James and Peggy and Joe were married in the minister’s home. Jean and Norma held their weddings in a church.

Pat and Bill exchanged vows in the living room of their southwest Orlando home on his lunch break. Their real estate agent was also a justice of the peace, and the witnesses were a couple building a home in their neighborhood. The Gleasons had to have the ceremony twice because the reel-to-reel tape recorder didn’t work the first time.

To prepare for life as a U.S. citizen, Pat made tablecloths and napkins.

“I thought that America was going to be so posh that everyone would have matching tablecloths and napkins,” she said.

She also had to adjust the way she spoke.

“When I first came here, I went to work as a nurse, and they told me I had to use some Southern tones because the patients couldn’t understand what I was telling them to do,” Pat said.

She was told to say “ya'll” and use phrases such as “pee in this cup” instead of “give me a urine sample.”

Jean went into a sales career, and she got so tired of people asking her if she knew the queen or Princess Diana — simply because of her British accent — that she dropped it.

Norma said people had a hard time understanding her. Sally said people constantly wanted her to say something just to hear her accent.

“A man at Publix, even to this day, will ask me to say something,” Peggy said.

And because dialect varies according to country or region, the women all agreed they learned to stay away from saying certain words that were innocent in England but had a completely different meaning in the U.S.

Margaret said the Florida heat was the biggest surprise to her, and her first home lacked air-conditioning. Sally was turned off by the sweet taste of American bread.

Pat had to learn how to use a telephone, drive a car and operate a washing machine. And then there was the time she followed the instructions on a box of spaghetti. She was proud of her American meal — until her husband and children asked where the tomato sauce was.

It was even harder for their parents to adapt when they visited.

“It took a long time to convince Mother it’s OK to drink out of a tea mug,” Sally said.

“We had to buy ours a cup and saucer,” Jean responded.

All but Norma have returned to England for a visit since moving to America.

The six women value their friendships and their connection to home. The local TBPA chapter no longer meets, but Pat, Sally, Norma, Peggy, Jean and Margaret still get together for lunch, which usually includes a British specialty or two.

Contact Amy Quesinberry Rhode at [email protected].